The vacuum cleaner is broken !

I love chatting to my parents, they put you on speaker not even if you were the flipping Pope delivering a sermon about peace around the world and very often the milkman or the guy who goes to read their gas meter feel obliged to join the conversation.

I ring my parents to see how they are doing and if they enjoyed having my sister's son over there during the summer holidays. My nephew is 12 and he has discovered the magic world of "masturbation". The kid thinks he has discovered the hot water or invented the fricking wheel.


He thinks he has a yo-yo between his legs and screams with joy from the living room: Nana, when I touch my willy, it can extend for more than 3 inches, amazing ! don't you think ?
My mother is shocked and embarrassed as she tells me the events on the phone while my dad is screaming from the kitchen : shit ! that kid costed me 80 euros, the vacuum cleaner is broken thanks to him !


My mother naive and good like a piece of bread turns to my dad and asks: When have you seen him cleaning his bedroom with the vacuum cleaner ? I kept telling him to clean his room and do the homework but he won't listen, he's always drawing dresses and handbags . He wants to be a designer my mum says with so much pride.


I can imagine the look on my dad's face even though I'm not there and he says : Lela  figlia mia (my daughter) your mother lives on another planet ! Maria, who said the kid was using the vacuum cleaner to clean his bedroom, that little shit was pleasuring himself with it !


Lela, I leave you to your mother ! I'm going to watch the news now and I hear him saying that kid is going to become a puff !