I call my parents and mother picks up the phone. I don't even get the chance to say: hello mum ! and she says: Lela, I need to take a shit, stay on the line. She goes to the toilet while I can hear my dad having a debate with someone I don't recognise. I hear their voices and the word burkas on a couple of occasions.
My mother, after dropping the atomic bomb in the loo and 5 farts later comes to the phone again. I ask her who's at home but she sounds puzzled . What do you mean ? she asks. Sounds like Dad is having a very heated debate , I say.
Oh ! no my mother says. He's talking to the television.
A lady wearing a burka has been fined and its all over the news . Your dad thinks that they should ban women wearing it.
Ten minutes later, dad comes to say hello and I ask him what he thinks about the burkas. I know I'm adding logs to the fire but somehow I enjoy teasing him.
He's obviously against the garment but he adds .... those garments cover your whole body but on the other hand think about how ugly is your cousin Annabella, if she was living in Teheran , she would be able to find a man and get laid too.
Dad , those women use their eyes to intrigue and attract the opposite sex, I say with so much enthusiasm that you would think I've discovered the hot water.
Well let me tell you something , forget the eyes for a moment, my dad says. Annabella needs to put that part of the garment with veiled eyeholes on her ass instead of her face otherwise a man won't touch her even with a stick .
Mother is shocked and says : your dad is as sensitive as a stalk of celery. That girl is not pretty but she is not that ugly either. Dad and I can't really agree with mum but we know it's not nice to make comments like that so I try to change the subject and ask: so mum what are you knitting these days ?
A fu***ing balaclava for Annabella my dad says.
I call it a day and remind them how much I love them and hang up.
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