After 2 days in bed with fever, tonsils as big as ping pong rackets and a cough that made me sound like a constipated Lady Gaga , I needed something to cheer me up. I went through my iphone and checked old texts and this is what I found ....
Dad: Lela, this is dad. How are you ?
Lela: Nooo! Really ? I thought you were Spock from star trek. I have your number on my phone dad !!!
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| Blowing a kiss to my loved ones |
Lela: Got the numbers ! They look quite shitty ones but here it goes :22-28-42-49-50 lucky stars 4-9 and then 4-13-33-38-40 lucky stars 3-7 ....
Cross your fingers, toes, nasal hair and pubic hair !
We need to win to break from this vicious circle of poverty :-)
Greek colleague: thanks. do not throw the ticket away. bring it on monday to check.
Lela: Good you told me so Mr Socrates otherwise I was going to use the ticket as a tampoon ! Of course I'm not going to throw it away !!!
When a friend was having a rough time with his new female boss and asked my advice:
Lela: Buy a single ticket to Afghanistan for that tramp this xmas - if you don't have the money, I'll ask my uncle ... He breaks legs for 10 quid and make people disappear for 30 quid !
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| If people would use flowers rather than bullets, this world would be a better place |
To a friend seeking moral support after breaking up with his moody girlfriend:
Lela: Get yourself an inflatable doll, great tits , happy to try new positions & best of all they are damn quiet
To a male friend preaching via text:
Friend: I know, I know that's enough I will fuc~@ off now
Lela: Good ! You are a fast learner.
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| Shopping for shoes ? Well if I chop my toes off, I might be able to wear these tiny sandals too |
To a gay friend who introduced me to a very boring girl:
Friend: I know some people might find Clara a bit boring. I thought you wanted to burn her alive !
Lela: I've tried to but she's so boring that even the matches did refuse to burn that woman !!
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| A free spirit |
Text from a colleague after some food got stolen in the fridge at work:
Colleague: What do you make out of this thief ? Thank god my soup is safe.
Lela: well if he is a man , he must be married to a crappy cook . If she is a woman, she is not getting enough "baguette" at home! The thief might find a bit tricky to pour your soup inside his wallet or her handbag, we don't need CIA to investigate that or do we ?!?!
Text from a very horny male friend:
Friend: guess what ???
Lela: you are pregnant !
Friend: I'm a man ! Guess again ???
Lela: they found a pregnant goat close to your house and you are involved !
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| this dog cracked me up - you can't see outside ? think outside the box or put your head outside the "box" |
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