Baby, make me feel like a woman ...Darling you still don't know how to park a car !

I've been in Buenos Aires (BA) for a month now and I love this city. BA reminds me Madrid where I spent 2 months and loved every minute of it. It's Autumn and the weather is nice. Argentinians are wearing boots and winter jackets as if they were climbing Kilimanjaro!

Pink House - Buenos Aires

I'm hanging around in my flip flops and a boob tube! Of course I'm wearing a skirt or shorts too, I don't want to traumatise the population or be the cause of the increase of suicides around here. They probably think I'm on menopause but its warm ! It's good I'm wearing knickers cause with this sunshine, my buttocks would look like 2 sundried tomatoes ! Well I'm Italian after all so I couldn't say dates or prunes cause I'm not from Middle East or California ... Two places that I'm in love with !
The buildings and museums in BA are awesome, the food is delicious and don't get me started with the tango dancers dancing down the streets cause they are so sexy and beautiful to watch.You can smell the hormones of the audience,I think hmmm lucky bastards he he he - I had to buy myself a book of anatomy and pretend that I was studying medicine to see a penis and remind myself how it looks like .

Tango in Calle Florida - Buenos Aires

Argentinians are warm and friendly.
Its almost impossible not to find a husband. As you are walking down the street or stopping to buy some apples from the fruit and veg shop, on a bad day someone will blow you kisses, ask you out or scream: nice tits ! On a good day, someone will shout :I'm in love with you and will you marry me ? even though you don't know who the hell they are !

Obelisk of Buenos Aires - the crappiest monument I have seen in my life

Some men know how to make you feel like a woman and I'm not singing the song of Shania Twain ! It's either when they tell you: darling, after 15 years you still don't know how to park the car or when you scream from the kitchen : babyyyyy fancy some Rits (the cheese biscuits) and he shouts back: yessss, I fancy your tits and he appears in the kitchen so hard that he can cut diamonds !
Women on the other hand are so lovely and always try to go the extra mile for men.They wear a wonderbra even though they have boobs flat like 2 fried eggs and when they take their wonderbra off, you wonder where the tits are gone too ! They wear a size 10 even though their size is 16 so they spend the entire evening not breathing and drinking their pinacolada with a drip so the zip doesn't burst at once but little by little .... and by the time the dress becomes a scarf, the man is too drunk to remember who the hell she is or looks like and takes her home anyway. Women don't just love handbags, they are nuts about high heels too and I put my hands up on this but its a disturbing sight when women are walking in slow motion cause the high heels are really uncomfortable and they walk as if they were austronats landing to the moon ! Meanwhile these are women wearing their Hugo Boss stilettos but after few drinks and 4 steps later, they lose the "B" of their high heels and its not Hugo Boss but Hugo Loss, the floor is wet and the feet are now covered in Hugo Moss ! Does anyone know the marketing director of Hugo Boss please ? I could be a great addition to their Marketing Department ! OK I can see you rolling your eyes so I will continue with my "stay" in BA.

I'm teaching the kids in the infamous Ciudad Oculta , a very violent area of Buenos Aires.

my charity in Buenos Aires

Ambulances refuse to go there and the police does pretty much the same. Drug dealing, muggins,rapes and shootings apparently are very common in this area and I'm not allowed to walk alone and preferably without carrying a handbag. I need to put my iphone in my knickers or socks, some money in my bra and hold the home keys. I'm trying to wear socks when I go there and put my iphone inside my right sock rather than my knickers for 3 good reasons:
A) if you get a text or receive a call and your mobile phone vibrates, you might have an orgasm as they are robbing you;
B) a flashing clitoris under these circumstances is not a good thing cause you won't be just missing the call but you will be probably missing your front teeth too;
C) well I don't really have a third valid reason but I though my story would sound more exciting ! You gotta step up your game when dealing with criminals so hide your phone inside your socks. To spray your feet might help before putting your phone in contact with them unless you don't expect calls for the next 15 years !Valmir or Carmen from Conviven, the charity I'm helping come to pick me up and take me back to the bus stop and wait until the bus comes and leave the rough and scary Ciudad Oculta.
I don't deny my fear, I have my heart in my throat every day I go there but if you let fear control your life, you will never do anything and that's not the way I wanna live my life. My "charity tour" means a lot to me so nothing or nobody will stop me. Yes I crap my pants but I'm gonna do exactly what I came here for !

A glimpse of the infamous Ciudad Oculta - Buenos Aires

I have one more month in the Ciudad Oculta and then off to Brasil for 3 months to teach in one of the favelas in Rio de Janeiro.
Hope my guardian angel doesn't go on vacation, maternity leave or starts watching Baywatch day and night cause if he is a man and sees Pammy Anderson in that red swimming outfit I'm screwed !

time to say goodbye to everyone at Conviven