Room service ? No ! Its a baby llama

What a crazy week-end ! My housemates decide to do the 2 days Colca Canyon tour together but I decide to do like Jason Derulo, I'm riding solo and I don't mind at all. I'm shy and reserved and I'm hoping this experience will help me to come out of my shell ... Ok that's bullshit as I manage to make friends with a group of red ants too! I join a group of 14 people, most of them are from Peru', apart from a guy from Finland and 3 people from Switzerland. We leave Arequipa, visit the reserva nacionales salinas y aguada blanca until we reach Chivay where I meet my twin sister! She's a white and brown llama who's very affectionate and gives me a huge kiss which is captured when a stranger takes a picture of us. We visit some more places until we go to la calera hot springs to chill out a bit. Its raining and cold but the volcanic waters are really hot. The temperature is about 38 degrees.

room serviceeeeeeeee

I put my bikini on and dip myself in the hot water. I could cook some pasta inside the pool and I can hear the sizzling noise of my ovaries frying. I have such a big smile on my face that even some tribes in Borneo can see it from there. I meet two lovely boys from Lima and we end up chatting in the pool for two hours. We exchange numbers and email addresses and then my tour guide drops me at the incredible hostel " Urpi" in Chivay. My room has 2 single beds, the TV is older than Machu Picchu, the door doesn't close and the ceiling is leaking in 3 different places.
The carpet is wet and dirty, I can see mushrooms growing on my side table and I think what an amazing mushroom risotto I could make !I´m soooo Italian he he he
I go out for dinner with my group, the peruvian bands looks like the beatles but those wind pipes are doing my head in. The food looks scary so I decide to play safe and order a sopa de verduras.
It should be a soup with veg but the waiter brings me a bucket of brown water that reminds me the water nana had to throw away when grandpa did wash his feet and his black toe nails that did look like mussels! The carrots have the letters BC on them which stands for Before Christ and the peas are not green anymore cause these are so antique that have now the colour of the Egyptians pyramids.
The peruvian show is quite nice though and the peruvian male dancer comes to my table and takes me to the dance floor so I can perform in front of all guests. After performing in New York with the Harlem Gospel Choir in front of over 500 people and in Bryant Park, I think this performance will be a piece of cake !

kinky show in Peru'

Once dance and dinner are over, I go back to my "palace" to rest a bit. Tomorrow we are leaving very early to see the condors. At 3am I need to move my bed to the other side of the room as the ceiling is leaking in 3 places and my room is looking like a smaller version of Titanic. I'm glad I haven't missed a single episode of the tv programme "changing rooms" when I was living in London cause I manage to hang my single bed on one of the walls and sleep until 3:45am. I wake up as my door opens, I cannot see anyone coming through the door but then I hear the sound of a lamb or a constipated dog coming closer and closer and I realise it´s a baby llama !!
The owners have this llama as a pet and its not room service, I stroke him a bit and keep him as an hostage for one hour cause  he´s warm like a radiator. Its freezing cold, I have taken the blankets from the other bed too but even a polar bear would have moved to Mexico cause it´s colder than the North Pole , I hug the llama until ... he tries to suck my left nipple ! One hour later, I let the llama go back downstairs and try to sleep one more hour before they come to pick me up. I get up one hour later and take a hot shower cause I´m so cold and hugging  baby llama is not like sleeping with Brad Pitt, is it ? there is a wire next to the water pipe and so I get eletrocuted twice as I wash myself. Flipping idiots, how can they put water and electricity next to each other ! You don´t need to be Socrates to know that those two things don´t go well together. I go down to have a mate de coca, tea with coca leaves and say goodbye to Paulo and Carmen.
I will never forget my stay there he he he - I go to Cruz del Condor, see several condors flying in the canyon, meet the boys from Lima again and visit some more place before going back home ... Arequipa !




peruvian artcraft