Mr I didn´t get laid will think about it ....

Oh Jerusalem ! After the drama in Lima , I go with the french guy to visit Lake Titicaca together and catch a bus from Arequipa to Puno.
We arrive at Puno at 4am and we are knackered. I have a seat by the window, a man farting on my right, one snoring so loud in front of me that you feel like you are sitting on the engine of a jumbo jet and another guy next to him listening to Lady Gaga at full blast cause the snoring is unberable. Going to the loo is a mission impossible and I think even Tom Cruise will be in deep shit and not just because there is shit everywhere on the floor. People fart freely and I´m wondering if they are celebrating Divali in Peru´ too or their ass could give Iran a good run for their money when it comes to nuclear weapons !

The new Spicy Girls

We decide to pay for a 2 day tour, we visit the Uros islands, catch a boat from there to the island of Amantaní and after spending the night there catch another boat to Taquile island and spend saturday night over there.

Amantani' Island

We spend few hours visiting the Uros Islands and reach Amantaní. The island is beautiful, no electricty, no cars, no hot water, no dogs, no phones, no hotels ...
We spend the night with a local family, Matilda ,her husband and their daughter Lisa.
They are adorable and Lisa is such a sweetie, I think how weird is that I lost my lovely Lisa back in November and this girl is called like her. Is this a sign or just a coincidence ? I don´t know but somehow I like her.
The room has 3 beds and they are hard as concrete. You need to trek 15 minutes to reach the loo so it´s good preparation for my Machu Picchu trek next week.
Matilda cooks us an amazing lunch, quinoa soup with veg, potatos, cheese and tomatoes.

We visit the island and trek the entire island while it´s raining so badly that M and I are both soak wet. I get really sick , I have fever, a nasty headache, my eyes are burning and I can´t stop throwing up and going to the loo which is based in ..... Colombia.
I skip dinner and the party as I can´t move and I´ve never been sick like this in years.
M is gay and lovely, despite telling him to go to the party several times , he stays with me cause he is worried.
The next day I feel a bit better but when we reach the island of Taquile, I feel very weak. I´m trekking this flipping island and my stomach is empty.
We meet Ernesto while we are trekking the island and because there are no hotels, he tells us that we can stay at his house for 10 soles each.
M and I follow the man and pay for the accomodation but the room is so dirty and scary. The roof is falling apart, the pillow is so black that it looks like a piece of charcoal and you can grow mushrooms under the bed. We are laughing cause we are in shock but there is basic and basic so we decide to walk to the first restaurant we find and ask if they know anyone who can have us for the night.
The man in the restaurant says he has a room in his house so we decide to take our bags and get the hell out of there. As we are about to move our stuff over there, we change our mind and decide to take the boat and go back to Puno.
We miss our boat and wait for the next one. Captain Hook is not in a good mood, he probably didn´t get laid last night cause he starts saying that he has enough people and he might not have space for us.
This is the last boat and we are prepared to sit on the anchor or stick our bodies to the back of the boat like those black tyres as long as we go back to civilisation.
One hour later, Mr I didn´t get laid last night tell us we can stay in the roof. The journey is about 3 hours and we are hoping that it won´t rain or we will die.



the sky meet  lake Titicaca

After 2 hours on the roof and covered with my sleeping bag, we are freezing to death. A kid of 6 years old is sitting next to us and shaking cause it´s as cold as Siberia. M cannot take it anymore and he goes down to see if there is space as he feels really cold.
When I see the kid, my heart breaks in 2000 pieces and I ask him to sit next to me so we can cover each other with my sleeping bag. The boys smiles at me, says thanks and we end up hugging each other under the sleeping bag for 1 hour. I´m frozen, I cannot feel my body anymore and ten minutes before reaching the port M comes up and find me with the kid hugging each other and saying : we are almost there.
We go to a nice hotel, I need to take a hot shower and sleep. I´m still sick and the trip on the roof was the cherry on top of the cake . The hotel is 20 pounds per head and it looks like heaven. Its over our budget but we are dead and I´m really sick so we take the room. I take a shower, have a cup of tea and my paracetamol. I get a call from my best friend and go to bed.
I go to bed at 6pm and I don´t wake up until the next day.I feel much better, take some more tablets and go with M for breakfast.We have fruit, cereal, tea and go to our room to prepare our bags and relax a bit before we go to the terminal of Puno.
M is going back to Arequipa and I´m riding solo to Cusco as I´m trekking Machu Picchu this week.
I´m crapping my pants, my bus is at 9:30pm and I´m reaching Cusco at 4:30am . I try to look brave and confident but my knickers are getting heavier once again he he
I sit for hours listening to my iphone and checking the sandwiches of the little shops, the cheese is older than Jesus Christ. I´m glad I did this trip with M, I had a lovely time with him despite being sick,
I´m off to Cusco now so more adventures and craziness but I guess that´s just Lela  ....



Cusco a little gem