Marley and me ? No its Hardy and me !

I have moved to my Bolivian home yesterday and I had a very interesting night.
The donkey stands outside my bedroom window. I called him "Hardy" cause this donkey is always so hard that he could cut diamonds.
He did chew the entire mosquito net on my window so his head is hanging inside my bedroom. I feel like we are Romeo and Juliet, the only difference is that we don´t have a balcony, we are not in Verona and if Romeo had what this donkey has between his legs, Romeo would have been a porno star rather than a suicidal !!
I take the bedroom of a 16 years old boy and all the walls are covered with posters of girls flashing their tits so no wonder this donkey has a permanent erection . I notice in the morning that we don´t have 4 gooses anymore, Maverick and Goose are missing. I called them Goose and Maverick like the boys of the movie TOP GUN.
As I leave the house, I read the menu´ of the day: Gouse soup and veg !
I ask Señora Alsira why she murdered them and she says: they only eat and shit so I killed them.
I look at her and say well I eat and shit too, will I be on the menu´tomorrow then ?
Hardy will be devasted cause he has a soft spot for you, she said .
And I´ve never felt so sexy in my life

The boys from Top Gun